[contact-form][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Website’ type=’url’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form] Behind my beautiful rolls. Guess what… even skinny girls have them.
In an attempt to snap a candid picture of my sweet baby and her ever disappearing baby rolls, I noticed something in the photo I had not meant to capture; my own rolls.
First thought = “Um… delete!”
As Mom’s usually do, I became busy with screaming, laughing, squirmy pool soaked children and forgot to delete the photo.
Now, I am 5’1” tall and only weight about 103 LBS, give or take a pound.
I’m fit and workout every day for at least an hour. I run, cycle, lift weights, do interval training, love yoga, and I do my best to eat healthy “from the earth,” organic food.
I know I’m tiny. People comment on my appearance/weight all the time, often calling words like “skinny,” or “slender.” I don’t “love” these comments, but am not ruffled by them. If I take offense it’s my choice.
However, I LOATHE the word “SKINNY”. Healthy… great! Fit… wonderful! Toned… love it! Lanky… I’ll take it. Dapper, compact, lean, narrow, slim… Sure! Thin even… it’s all good.
“SKINNY” makes me thing of “Skull Head Body Hands,” from animaniacs or those sweet innocent starving dogs on the “adopt an animal,” commercials that make us all want to grab our keys, load our bouncy children in the car and adopt a starving animal immediately. Adopt an animal… don’t call me skinny.
Anyway, a few days after snapping this selfie I began scrolling through our afternoon of wet, splashing, crazy fun, I came across THE DREADED PHOTO again.
My first instinct was “CRINGE. Them rolls ain’t pretty.”
Then it hit me… “Why do I believe this?”
This body I have is pretty amazing.
Every day I’m able to run with my kids, run miles on my own, ride and train horses, lift heavy objects, laugh, cry, stretch, and wrap myself around my babies little body to show her love and affection.
My body is unique to me, with lines and curves no one else has exactly.
This stomach of mine, adorned with rolls, has carried and nourished 3 beautiful children! A roll for each love of my life!
I remember being in awe that my body knew just what to do when I was first pregnant with my son. It’s like a friggin’ miracle!
Amazing to me that my body knew how to grow and change so that I could accommodate my children’s growing, squirming, beautiful little bodies.
This is beautiful, is it not?
How wonderful is it that our bodies house thousands of fibers of muscle and organs that work to keep us living? What an amazing thing that we can control our hands, arms, legs, toes, fingers, expressions… every tiny movement with a simple thought.
Ever increasing are the lines on my face, lines from smiling, laughing, crying, worry, heartache, love, anger, frustration, hurt and excitement.
This is beautiful, isn’t it?
It astounds me that, after hard work and practice, we can learn new things like playing an instrument, communicating with animals, increasing our physical capabilities, dancing, singing, flipping on the trampoline, riding a bike, sketching and drawing, catching life’s precious moments with photography and videography, rock climbing, etc….
Isn’t this beautiful?
In the infamous photo, you’ll also notice that my ears stick out. For many years I’ve been self conscious of my ears. I remember when I my “sticky outey ears” came into my awareness.
It was the fourth grade. During recess a boy in my class noticed my ears sticking out of my hair and he called me “elf ears.” TLike a band of monkey’s on a tire swing, the whole group jumped in. “Elf ears” rang in my subconscious every time I wore my hair up, or tried to tuck it flirtatiously behind my ear. Quickly, I would take it down or untuck it. I’m sure my eyes also hit the floor, along with a little piece of my heart.
I obsessed over them. I’ve considered surgery. Just a few months ago, I told my husband I’d be scheduling a consultation.
Then one year ago, after 20 + years of feeling self conscious of my “elf ears,” I went to a seminar given by two girls! It is called “Beauty Redefined.” Here is their website.
Their founders of Beauty Redefined are twin sisters! Their purpose is to help women see the true beauty we have within ourselves! They redefine the meaning and value of beauty in our lives!
After hearing what they had to say and listening to my husband tell me how “cute” my ears are, I decided to keep them the way God created them!
Something you can’t see in the photo is my uneven, lopsided, Nursing Momma bosoms! Truth – I’m a totally lopsided nursing bad mamma Jamma!
Sometimes it’s quite embarrassing that I produce way more milk in one breast than the other… WAAAYYY more! I can pump 4 TIMES more milk in my right side that my left.
After struggling with mastitis in my left side over and over and over again, I gave up. I now only nurse from one side! I may look like Sid the Sloth but I’m working it, Uhh Huh (insert snaps!)
You can’t see my lopsidedness in the picture. Baby is nicely covering it up.
It’s not comfortable, but my baby is happy and I’ve been able to nurse her!
There is BEAUTY in this, isn’t there?
Let me state that I’m not opinionated when it comes to NURSING versus BOTTLE FEEDING.
Every Momma does what works for them and their baby and it’s not my place to judge. Happy and loved baby = Good Momma!
In this picture, taken the same day, you can see that I’m standing. My husband snapped this. He thought it cute that my daughter kept reaching for him with this angelic “please save me,” expression on her face.
Notice the rolls have disappeared? What a strange phenomenon. Point – rolls don’t mean anything! Rolls don’t define you! Or, maybe they do. Maybe they define some of the most BEAUTIFUL PARTS OF YOU. You choose how you view those “imperfections.”
In THIS photo you can see my MAN HANDS!
I have often been self conscious of these also! But why? Cause my hands are strong? Because they are “large” for a woman of my stature? So what?
I’ve since learned to love my hands. I can do so many things with the; play the guitar and span the keys of the piano! Horse training is part of my daily regimen and, BOY, have my man hands come in handy when holding a 1200 pound animal… Pun intended!
I’m a work horse! During the day I don’t stop and I work hard! Sweat a lot too… I DO NOT glisten like many of you lovely ladies. Often my family lovingly refers to me as the “Pack Mule.” I’m good with it.
My man hands have served me well over the years. I’m pretty sure God knows my personality and, when he created me, gave me these oversized mitts to help me be ME. For that I am thankful and say AMEN?
Still, sometimes I cringe when my show up front and center in pictures!
Why do I cringe when I see those “imperfections” in my body? Why do I see those curves and bumps and dimples and lines and shadows as imperfections? Isn’t there a story to each one? Aren’t those stories beautiful?
Statement: I’m a big believer in progress and improvement! I LOVE fitness. Feeling strong is an addiction to me. Finding new ways to incorporate fitness and progress into my life is something I love!
Taking care of my body is important to me! It’s a God Given gift and I intend to TRY and treat it with as much respect and love as I am able!
Being able to care for and play with my family is important to me!
Achieving new goals and reaching new heights is important to me!
I believe in caring for my body for these reasons!
That means loving the body, including the bumps and curves and shadows and bends and straight lines and “imperfections,” which I choose today to see as beautiful!
The media wants us to see those bumps and curves as imperfections so we will continue to invest in products to change them.
I’m not against buying something if it helps me feel good, but I am choosing not to see myself as “flawed!” I’m choosing to “Flawnt” (see what I did there? Lol) those beautiful things about me… my ears, smile lines, momma belly, second toe that is longer that my first (it’s true!)
I am a somewhat modest person! Obviously I’m wearing a bikini in this photo, hence the word “somewhat.”
This is the first time I’ve worn a bikini in YEARS.
Will I be flaunting my lopsided baby bosoms any time soon? No, but you can bet I won’t be apologizing for them!
Also, as a religious person, I believe that the media isn’t the only avenue trying to show me where I am flawed!
I believe the adversary will also try to bring me down in attempting to convince me that these beautiful parts if me aren’t beautiful to the world. Every misstep and mistake I have made started with self doubt.
What if I choose not to believe him!
I choose to find the pretty in my imperfections, to find the beauty in the real, raw, imperfect parts of my life?
Like this face.
See the golden freckles, big blue eyes and the left over chocolate lovingly smeared around her mouth… isn’t it beautiful? Plus, everything is more beautiful with chocolate, am I right ladies and gentleman?
It’s hilarious and glorious; a playhouse for pet chickens. My son thought some broken baskets in our backyard might just make for a fun, feather filled chicken play house. Isn’t there beauty in this?
When my husband decided to brave the barking dogs, firework pops, possible storm and sleepwalking/talking children to show his children just how fun a backyard campout can be.
Aren’t theses faces just beautiful! Silly… but beautiful.
This pic makes me almost pee my pants. Its a rare smile caught on camera! He’s stinky, hairy and muddy, but look at that mug!
And let’s not forget the infamous “longer 2nd and 3rd toe,” cracked polish, neglected nails and all! Dude, all I can say is… #MomLife
It may not be pretty. It’s kind of sad, but it’s me!
Maybe the “beauty” is I’ve been so busy chasing dreams, kids and adventure, that I just haven’t had the time to primp my tootsies. Life goes on.
This picture was taken this morning, as I conquered a 7 mile run straight up a mountain. My face in makeup free, my hair is flying everywhere, my “elf ears” are out for the world to see (“better to hear you with my dear”) and I’m sweating like sausage on a fiery grill. However, I ran 7 miles up a freakin’ mountain! It was hard. At times I wanted to turn around and stroll slowly home, but I didn’t. I made it to the top.
This is beautiful to me! Hard, but beautiful.
Beauty is everywhere even when we can’t see it!
Dag Gonnit, I’m choosing to see it! I hope you choose it too!
What about you is #flawnt worthy? What about you is unique, raw, wonderful and absolutely BEAUTIFUL?